The Struggling Writer and his Achievements (and failures)

 

Every writer, now and then, gazes at clouds when their fingers ought to dancing across a keyboard; but that's the space where inspiration happens, so it's fine! I swear! (Photo from personal collection)

It's been a minute, as they say!

Last year, I was more devoted to my blogs than I have been this year. In fact, we are three months into 2023, with the fourth fast approaching, and this is the first blog post I have written this year!

Part of the reason for this is that my focus has been on exploring other avenues for my writing. Submitting pieces to magazines, for example, which is more challenging than posting to blogs in many ways. 

When posting my writing to a blog, the only scrutiny it is under is that of my own eye. There is no editor to whom I must submit my writing, I don't need to pitch an idea and agree upon word length, or anything like that. And, in turn, I do not have to consider the tone or style of my writing when I blog, except to the extent that it is appropriate to whatever I am trying to say.

And, to be honest, though blogging is valuable in its way, I had begun to feel that I had peaked with it, and that neither I nor the blogs were growing much any more, in any way.

However, it would be remiss of me not to acknowledge the great benefits of blogging, for fear that you might think I am trying to run the whole thing into the ground. Because I wouldn't want you to think I have no appreciation for blogging as a means for writers to get their work in front of readers; I absolutely do!

Perhaps the thing I appreciate the most is that people have actually read what I have written. That when I reviewed books I read, having taken the  time perhaps to make notes, research the author, and read the thoughts of other critics, somebody has invested their time to read what I have written. That when I have written a post about my experiences with nature and wildlife it has found a space with other wild biophiles and dendrophiles. And that somebody finds worth in my writing experience is perhaps of as much value to me as it is to them, if not more.

The internet is full of people sharing their thoughts, experiences, knowledge, hopes and fears, and that anyone might have stumbled across my own (sometimes rambling) writing and decided to stick around for it humbles me. I appreciate that very much. I have tried to acknowledge any comments left under posts, when people have wanted to engage in further conversation about what I have written there, which I hope goes some way to repaying those readers; I don't want you to feel ignored if you have gone to the effort of engaging with what I have written even further.

I appreciate the readers most of all. I also appreciate that blogging has allowed me the opportunity to regularly write things that might actually be read; that I can write something and it can fall under the eyes of a reader almost immediately puts the pressure on (in a good way) to strive for a better standard of writing. Now, sometimes I have failed in that because I have been tired, short on time, or in some other way, you know, human. And because, as I said, writing for a blog does mean that what I have written doesn't pass beneath the critical eye of an editor before it gets in front of readers.

But the internet is always quick to pull anyone up when they fall short. Sometimes unfairly, but not always.

I am not saying goodbye to blogging, but our relationship is probably going to become a more casual one. 

Recently, I have been pitching and submitting bits and pieces to various magazines, as well as writing poetry and short stories. I am not setting the literary world on fire just yet, but I have seen my name printed in a couple of magazines in the last year. Which is nice. I have even gotten a little money out of these pursuits.

Honestly, the next goal is to get paid for my writing. Well, perhaps that I write something worth paying for would to be a fairer way to describe it. It's not something I can do blogging, I think; I have been hesitant to allow too many advertisements and affiliations in my blogs. This is partly because of a personal dislike for how adverts disturb the flow of an article, but it is also because I wanted to write free from concerns of who I was writing for. I wanted to write with honesty and integrity, not worrying over how I might try and sell something to the reader.

But choosing to not allow adverts does make remuneration a tad more difficult, and I have instead relied upon the kindness of readers who have decided what they have read is worth paying for. If I can sell my writing elsewhere, that might be the best option for me.

There's not a lot of money in writing, but it is the thing that I do best. You can judge for yourself what that says about the rest of my life and any other skills I might have!

In this month of March, when daffodils have bloomed and bumblebees begun to buzz, the promise of spring and new beginnings in the air, I find myself considering life and new starts for myself. It's a good time for taking stock and then looking forward, figuring out where you have been and where you want to go.

Wherever you are, and wherever you are going, yourselves, I wish you all the best!

Thank you for reading. You can buy this blogging, scribbling, struggling, procrastinating, cogitating, percolating writer a little cup of coffee here, if you should feel so inclined. Though you can show some support in other and equally valuable ways too; you can leave a little thumbs up, leave a comment, or share this piece with anyone you think might find it interesting or entertaining.

And thanks again for reading!

Four posts and still going . . .

 

A notebook is a writer's friend. (Photo from personal collection.)

Dear writers and procrastinators,

Welcome to this, my fourth posting to this blog detailing my adventures in writing and procrastination – and, now and then, my little successes!

The next couple of months are a little exciting for me: I am celebrating seeing a little of my work and name in print, in two writing magazines published here, in the UK. You can read a piece of poetry I wrote, All Dead Things, in issue #248 of Writers' Forum, and an extract from a story I began writing last year will be analysed and critiqued in Writing Magazine's Under the Microscope segment of their magazine.

The poem is a meditation on the things unsaid between family and how they can damage the bonds between them, almost like rot in the roots. Unfortunately, I didn't win the competition for which I submitted this poem to the magazine, but it was highly commended and shortlisted. 

The extract that will be analysed in Writing Magazine is from a story that has toxic relationships as its central theme . . . a story where none of the characters are very likeable! I am interested in this subject because I have found myself in unhealthy relationships myself, and conversations about unhealthy and toxic relationships have moved closer the fore in recent times. I think how and why people come to be in relationships that are harmful to them, and how and why they stay in those relationships, is a subject worth discussing.

And so, a heartfelt thank you to those who have deemed my efforts worth ink and consideration. And, to you, dear reader, for your time and attention – I know they are valuable. If you can help just a little further, please consider liking, commenting, subscribing, and sharing this posting.

If you can, you can buy me a coffee, to keep me awake as I tap away at this keyboard, here – rather than turning this space into adverts disguised as articles, I throw myself in the kindness of readers. Donations keep my writing alive.

And so, thank you and best wishes.

PS At a time when cost of living and energy crises are taking a big wet bite out of everyone (well, except for those with more than enough already, of course), I know an ask for donations from readers is an ask some cannot answer. Please don't hate me for asking though – getting remuneration for writerly endeavours is just bloomin' hard and, unfortunately, one needs money to keep one's efforts alive.

You can find me on Twitter here.

Successes, Anxieties, and Procrastination

 

Looking skyward for inspiration. Finding sky. (Photo from personal collection.)

After writing a small article on the decline of swifts for a local magazine, I was inundated with emails – okay, well, I got two emails – thanking me for writing said article. The writers of these emails expressed their opinions that I had written a decent article, full of good advice. Of course, I am the writer of that article, so I was able to read it back to myself and find at least eight things I wish I had done differently in the first paragraph.

Out of this exchange of emails, an invitation to a local writing group was proffered. Which is exciting, of course. Oh, and it also fills me with absolute dread! I mean, the very thought of reading aloud my writing to a group of people fills me with terror! Heck, I'm not sure I could read aloud to the flippin' cat without suspecting that I was being judged!

(To be fair, there probably would be judgement – she is a cat. That's what they do.)

If I am not reading, I might be writing; two activities that keep me firmly hidden behind pages and screens. You see, I have been, ever since I was a child, riddled with anxiety. I am not sure where it comes from. When I was a child, I was afraid to leave the house and go to school. The thought of it, and the nerves which made both my head and stomach churn, made me nauseous. 

Me and social interaction have an uneasy thing going on.

So, yeah, this invitation is exciting, and one that I ought to accept gratefully, and I am grateful, but there's that feeling in my stomach again. And that voice in my head, running through all the ways I can plausibly back out and not be thought the oddest of the oddballs. 

At the end of last month, I received an email from Writers' Forum magazine, letting me know that a poem of mine, which I had entered into their monthly competition, would be published in the next issue of the magazine. Whilst it didn't win first prize, it was highly commended.

There is a rush that comes with seeing my name in print. However, this is tempered by the desire to go back in time and tweak and change all the things I've only just noticed now that the thing is in print. This leads to that nagging voice – "Are you sure you deserve this? I mean, this is just a fluke, isn't it? I mean, I won't tell anyone  but you and I both know, you don't really know what you're doing, do you."

Not a question, you understand. An accusation. 

I have a handful of voices kicking around in there, apparently.

Do all writers experience this? The deep unswaying need to write, coupled with a fear that their writing might actually be read? 

Before I give the impression that I am nought but a trembling, dribbling wreck, curled up in a foetal position on the floor, tapping fearfully away at keys, jumping at every click and clack, in a darkened room, with a blanket over my head, I will say that I have enough confidence in my writing to continue flinging it out into the world. The anxieties and uncertainties that follow will have to be navigated as they come, for there is not much I can do about this need to write.

My need and love of writing is an extension of my passion for reading. It comes from my deep respect for the written word. But also, it is an awfully attractive means by which an unsure individual can communicate with the world.

Thank you for reading. Before you go, can I ask you to consider buying a coffee for the author of this blog post. Turns out, making money out of writing can be bloomin' hard! 

You can also share, like, and subscribe to show your support – if we don't support the writing we enjoy, we'll end up with nothing but clickbait and adverts disguised as articles. And what a hellscape the internet then would be.

A writer's note

 

Out and about, looking for inspiration . . . and buzzard feathers. (Photo from personal collection)

Agatha Christie said the perfect time to plot a novel was over the washing up. Personally, I find that long walks along countryside paths are great to spark inspiration. There's plenty of time and space to play out conversations. To run through scenes and scenarios. To ponder ideas, and other points of view. If I remember to take a notebook with me, it can be a very productive walk indeed!

But, once ideas have bloomed and burst into life, what then? What to do with those ideas? Well, some of them simply fizzle out, as sparks often do. Brilliant little things that die in cold darkness. Others are tossed into a notebook, perhaps the spark that will ignite a flame. And sometimes they do – a poem, a blog post, a short story . . .

It's the lot of the struggling writer. I try to nurture these ideas, navigating everyday demands, tiredness, a lack of money, and the echoes of mocking voices bouncing of the walls of my mind. Unfortunately, so far, I am better at struggling than I am at writing. Or, at least, writing something that gets into print. And, to be honest, puts money in my pocket.

I am fairly certain that I am a good writer. I'm not so daft as to think myself a great writer, but I do think I am a good one. At least good enough that I could match others which have found their audience.

My problem, I think, is not the quality of the writing that I can produce. No, it's the procrastination, the tiredness, and, you know, life. That's why books like The Organised Writer by Antony Johnston find their way onto my shelves. A hope to overcome the only flaws I know I can really do something about, my own.

Writers, how do you find ideas? And, how do you navigate life's little demands?

Thank you for reading. To support this blog, please like, share, comment, and subscribe.

You can also buy the author a coffee here, to support this blog and keep his writerly ambitions alive.

Disclaimer: this post features an affiliate link that might earn the blog writer a small commission should any readers make a purchase via said link.

And, so it begins . . .

 

Fuel for the writing . . . or the daydreaming. (Photo from personal collection)

I have just ordered a copy of Getting Published by Alysoun Owen, the hope being that it will spur me on to, well, you know, get published. The title of the book is pretty straightforward. Here's hoping it's one of those "does what it says on the tin" deals.

Of course, fulfilling the desire of seeing one's work in print does require some effort from the writer. I can't just hope that having the book on my shelves will, through some magical process of osmosis of knowledge and reality, get me published and printed – though part of me would love that!

Maybe I should stick the receipt in plain view when the book arrives. Poking just out of the book where it will stand on my shelves. A reminder that I spent money – a scant resource – on the thing. When daily chores, procrastination, and self doubt bleed in, a little reminder that I parted with money, that I invested in myself, could pull me into those pages. Mining for knowledge. Spurring me into action.

Books have that power over me. They inspire me, and not just with my writing. From words on a page, I can be inspired to act. That's why books on writing and publishing are forever being added to my shelves. 

For me, during these sunnier months of the year, the pull of other things threatens much more to take me away from writerly efforts. Who wants to be stuck indoors, brows furrowed, hunched in the unholy glow of some blank and demanding screen? The cursor pulsing there in the abysmal white, a mocking beat.

It's summer! We could just go outside and listen to the birds for a while. And, if we're going to do that, I would love, love, love an ice cold bottle of some good cider. The cold beads of water dribbling down the bottle, making my fingers wet . . .

And when we've had enough of that, let's just stream true crime documentaries and fall asleep . . . Yeah?

Sounds pretty good. I mean, life and other people can be harsh in their unrelenting demands. We definitely deserve some time to ourselves. But, you know, and I know, that that "me time" is going to feel much richer if we have it as a reward for time spent writing.

I started this blog – welcome to this, my very first writing blog post, by the way – for the same reasons I started writing at all. Firstly, there is simply an urge that I cannot quite explain, though I think it comes from a general appreciation and love for the written word; I am an avid reader, a bibliophile, and the urge to write, I believe, springs forth from that. 

Secondly, there is a desire to feel less alone. Which is, I suppose, a fairly universal desire; don't we all want some form of acceptance, community, and, just maybe, love? I have found those things in the books I have read. I have felt seen because of them. And, as I do so with reading, I think I can find a little of the same by writing.

Hopefully some of you that actually clicked on the link that brought you here have stuck with me this far. I hope so. Because I really would love to reach out across this digital Wild West we call the internet and find fellow writerly travellers. If you made it this far, why not stick a "howdy" and some feedback in the comments – it'd be much appreciated, pardner!

Okay. Well, I am almost done here, for now. That coffee in the opening image looks pretty good to me now. I might have one of those, and flip through a magazine or two. Which isn't procrastination, I swear! It's research!

Here's the thing. All that procrastinating, all those daily chores, and even the self doubts, can make for good material. And maybe I will talk about that in the next post. 

If you would like be notified when that next post is published, please do subscribe. If you found this post amusing or useful, you can share it far and wide too! Or at least tell your mate, Claire, all about it – she'll love it!

Thank you for reading!

Just a favour to ask before you go – if you are able to do so, could you please buy this writer a coffee – it's vital fuel for the struggling writer!

I don't want to fill this blog with ads and click bait. I don't want to write adverts disguised as articles. But I do want to write, and one must pay the bills, so any tips and donations are much appreciated. In return, I will strive to bring you better, informative, amusing posts.

Thank you for your support.